"Show me my silver lining. (I try to keep on keepin on.)" It rings in my ears like the cries of the ghosts from my past. This haunts me in a different way. It's the cry of my heart. I don't feel I belong at CCU anymore. I don't know my purpose. "I'm tired of looking for answers." I grow weary of wandering aimlessly in attempt to find my path in life. Maybe I don't have a path. Maybe God's will is for me to wander aimlessly like the Israelites for a while. I need him in the midst of this desert though. I keep looking back at the tracks I've made in the sand, only to see them swept away by the wild wind. I see all I do here being swept away as if it never happened. Everything I do becomes undone. "Show me my silver lining."
"These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free." I fashion my own makeshift freedom that ends up enslaving me more than I was before. These scars on my arms brought me no freedom. My wayward life did not fulfill me. I need freedom in Christ alone. I have to depend on Him as my only source of freedom.