bleh

Sometimes my mind is racing. Speeding so fast I don't even notice until it crashes. My heart is weary from the rapid switch between emotions. If I am sad, it only last until I blink and notice something that floods my mind with new thoughts. I want to linger on what burdens me and scratch and claw to clutch the escaping mood, but it's gone. And then I burn with frustration because I don't understand why I can't just focus and hold my attention on one thing. It's so easy to forgive and forget because I forget more than my lungs take in oxygen. Yeah, ok so I lied a little when I said it's easy to forgive and forget. I have one issue when it comes to forgiveness. The only person I have trouble forgiving is myself. Help me Jesus. I am so broken. I am so frustrated at myself. I want to focus. I want to be able to sit still. I want to listen to others and not tune out without even realizing. What I want though, is not always what is best for me. What I need is to just be ok with who I am.