In Fight or In Flight

    Back in the day I wrote this song during my severe struggle with depression. I was too afraid to ever show anyone this song, because I thought it sucked. Now I read it, and I just want others to catch a glimpse of what living (if you can call it that) with depression is actually like. 

   I don't care if the song sucks or not. I just want to be heard. I'm in a better place now, though depression is always looming nearby. And though depression may always loom nearby, I have a God that sticks closer to me than anything has or ever will. Maybe someday I'll work up the courage to actually perform this. 

In Fight or In Flight 

Verse 1:

Failing, fighting, drowning, crawling,

Scraping, scrapping, grasping, falling

I'm just a bird with a broken wing,

a metaphor for depressing things,

to convey the hopeless nature of 

my knockdown drag-out life.

Prechorus:

I need something, anything.

Chorus:

I know am the problem, and that's what kills me.

I am also the solution, and that's what scares me.

Do I try and risk failing, fly by just flailing.

Or stay down here and let the darkness around me

 become the darkness inside me.

Verse 2:

Always thirsty, always drinking

Always swimming, still I'm sinking

Try to satisfy with worthless things

To work so hard to be happy

It never works or lasts

A lather, rinse, and repeat life.

Prechorus:

I need something, anything.

Chorus:

I know am the problem, and that's what kills me.

I am also the solution, and that's what scares me.

Do I try and risk failing, fly by just flailing.

Or stay down here and let the darkness around me

become the darkness inside me.

Bridge:

Imprisonment is where I live

It’s comfortable here in this pit

Freedom is terrifying

I’ve grow afraid of flying

I’d rather sink than swim 

than live in a world that doesn’t need me

   If you struggle with depression, you are not alone. Talk to someone you trust. Cling to God. Without God I'd be dead, and I trust in Him that He can overcome any earthly thing for anyone. 

Remember, Not all who wander are lost. 

Much love,

Erin