His love endures forever

  I just finished my time alone with God. I'm still reading through Psalm, Proverbs, and Isaiah right now. I've started something new in my time with God also. After I am done reading the bible, I go to the side of my bed, get down on my knees, and kneel before God in prayer. "Reacquaint my knees with the carpet." (As Brooke Fraser so succinctly stated in her song Lifeline. Although, my room has no carpet... just cement, because I'm still living in my parents' basement.)
   I say this not because I want applause or praise... I could care less whether you think I'm crazy or cool for kneeling in prayer. I say this because I need a physical reminder of my lowliness before God. I kneel to remember that I am talking to a King. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Kneeling on the cold floor humbles me, because when I'm before God, it's where I should be. I deserve nothing more than the ground before the presence of the Almighty God. 
   My bible reading has become a habit now but I forget sometimes to go to God in prayer. Time alone with God consists of hearing from God through reading His word, and responding to God in prayer. It is now day two of my adventures in kneeling. I'll keep you posted on how that goes, or not... because there's not much else to say about it really. It's pretty straightforward, so maybe I'll just leave it at that.
   I am doing a ton of bible reading right now, and I wish I could talk about every single passage that jumped out at me, but I'm sure you, my dear reader, have a life. So I'll just pick one, even though it's like choosing one favorite Johnny Depp movie out of every single movie ever... because, let's face it, what movie hasn't Johnny Depp been in?! Seriously!
   Okay so I am going to cheat and focus on the entire chapter of Psalm 136. (Yeah that's right. I just cheated at my own game.) Somewhere in every single verse in Psalm 136 says "His love endures forever." Psalm 136 has 26 verses, so let me get my calculator and to find out how many times the writer wrote that. I was never very good at math, but I'm decent enough to count... so 26 times! This obviously must have been very important for the writer to put that in 26 times.
Psalm 136:22-26
an inheritance to his servant Israel; His love endures forever. To the One who remembered us in our low estate His love endures forever. and freed us from our enemies, His love endures forever. and who gives food to every creature. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. 
   What I gleaned from this passage is what God has brought me through in my life. Earlier, the chapter mentions the Isrealites brought out of Egypt. (I also read more about that in Isaiah.) But I realized that I cannot forget where I've been. How awful my life used to be before God. I cannot forget what He has carried me through. Like depression, cutting, bulimia, years of limping around with deformed hips, and 7 surgeries in one year. His love for me endured all of that. God has delivered me through so much! He has worked out all of these seemingly awful trials for my good. 
   I can not and should not forget this because it will remind me that God will continue to deliver me from my current trials: my parents' getting divorced, breaking up with my boyfriend, constant insecurity and self loathing. God has blessed me and loved me in the past and He will not stop now, because His love endures forever. 
   Then I dissected the actual phrase "His love endures forever." That is a serious love, guys. This love is bigger than any love any human could ever experience with another human. I thought of my relationship with my ex and how many times I broke his heart and as a result, broken my relationship with him. Then I thought of how many more times I have broken God's heart, but His love endures forever. God's love not only endures forever, but God's love endures everything! He has loved me at my worst moments, when I loved rejecting Him for something else.
   Sadly, there have been times where I told God I hated Him. God still loves me. I have exchanged God for worthless idols like boys, applause, approval of friends, entertainment, money, and security. I've sinned against God so much that sometimes I don't even know it. I may sin and think that I'm perfectly justified for it.  (Proverbs 16:2 "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.") But God still loves me. He has even placed these sins as far as the east is from the west. 
   I could sing of God's love forever, but I won't right now because I'm in my room and it's 11:08 and I need to go to bed soon and if I sing of God's love, you can bet your sweet boots that it's going to be some loud singing, so for the sake of my neighbors, I will wait for the opportune moment... and since I just quoted from Pirates of the Caribbean, I kind of want to go watch it now. Oh Johnny Depp, you are my hero. 
Okay, it's really time to go. I'm just spitting out nonsense now. I will leave you with one more awesome verse, from Isaiah. I looove it because it's beautifully worded. It paints a beautiful picture of God's patience. (If I ever write a good song, I will definitely incorporate this verse into the lyrics.)
Isaiah 18:4
This is what the Lord says to me:
“I will remain quiet and will look on from my dwelling place,
like shimmering heat in the sunshine,
like a cloud of dew in the heat of harvest.”