Blue like Jazz

   I just read chapter 4 of the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, on recommendation of my youth pastor. I'm completely hooked and completely convicted at the same time. After reading that chapter, the one thing that continues to flash across my cerebrum in bright orange, bold typed, times new roman letters, is PARTIALITY. 

   My convictions are as follows: I'm such a judgmental douche. I play favorites all the time. My biggest example is at work. It is so hard for me to love people at work, because customers are not very nice. Some of them just ask really stupid questions, and that is the bane of my existence, but that's another rant I will save for later.

   The customers that are nice to me, have the privilege of being treated with kindness in return. The customers who act like idiots or cranky bums, are treated with the most basic sense of politeness, only to disguise my burning annoyance. 

   Christ doesn't play that game. Jesus don't play no games. If Jesus were working my job, he would treat everyone with love. Even those who don't deserve it. EVEN the Pharisees who are complete jerkfaces. EVEN his OWN DISCIPLES who never got his parables and asked STUPID QUESTIONS. (Wow that's a lot of capitals.) 

   I need to pour out this love and grace on everyone, just like Christ has poured out on my douchebaggy little self, because not only am I called to, but I actually want to be like Christ. I don't like who I am. Christ is way better, so I strive to be like Him. 

   Also, I LOVE this quote. "'The thing I loved about Nadine was that I never felt like she was selling anything. She would talk about God as if she knew Him, as if she had talked to Him on the phone that day. She was never ashamed, which is the thing with some Christians I had encountered. They felt like they had to sell God, as if He were soap or a vacuum cleaner, and it's like they really weren't listening to me; they didn't care, they just wanted me to buy their product."

   This is the difference between knowing Christ and getting Christ. Before I got Christ, I lived by the standard set of rules and followed Jesus because it made me feel better about myself, without really knowing who I was following. Once I got to know Jesus and what He was about, I realized that nothing I could do would make me good. I'm an awful person, and Christ makes me good. I love Jesus because He loved me first, in all of my awful lying, selfishness, idolatry, hatred, and greed. People say I have grown and changed so much since then, but I don't even notice. If I have, it's because of Christ. Now I get Christ, and my life is His.