Chemistry

   I'm so stressed. I have so much to do. Memorize lines for the musical, practice piano, practice for voice lessons, chemistry homework, music theory homework, an unwritten demonstration speech, mid-terms to study for, and no time.
   I'm working on my chemistry homework right now and just beyond frustrated with myself. I've been taking lecture notes, reading the textbook chapters, taking separate notes from the textbook, and I STILL cannot understand most of the problems in my assignment. I just feel like the dumbest person in the world right now. I hate feeling dumb. I emailed the teacher to ask for extra help tomorrow, but I don't even know if that will help anymore.
   Today was Wednesday, my favorite day of the week. Youth group was crazy. The projector wasn't working, two out of four speakers weren't working, and my guitarist was having sound issues as well... during one of our songs! He had to run to the sound booth to fix things. When he fixed everything (still during the song) he forgot he had turned his amp all the way up... and yeah... it was bad. I peed a little. I thought for sure my hearing would be gone forever.
   Weston tried to cut things short to save us, but the students cheered for another song. We pulled out a song they could remember the words to, since the projector wasn't working, and they were pretty happy.
   I've been so tense and freaked out and frustrated all night, that I almost didn't catch the fact that the students actually wanted to worship. I'm pretty encouraged by that, and I almost didn't see it. God is so good. He's working whether or not our projector and sound is working. You don't have to plug in worship. God doesn't require speakers, theologically deep songs with epic lyrics, or guitars. Just willing hearts, and a heart to worship our Almighty Creator. I love Wednesdays.
   You know what? I feel a little better about this Chemistry issue. You wanna know why? Because I know that God has not designed me to do Chemistry. His will for my life is not to be a chemist. I know right now though, His will for me is to do everything for His glory... sigh... including chemistry. So God is definitely using this class to strengthen my self discipline and to conform my unwilling heart to His will. At least I know God has a purpose in mind for this class, and PRAISE THE LORD, His purpose for this is not to prepare me for a career in chemistry!!!!
   I'm going to try not to beat myself up about this so much because, honestly, I'm doing my best. A year ago, I would have never even cracked open the textbook, let alone read it. I never would have made the effort to see the teacher for extra help with the assignment. I probably wouldn't have cared about passing the class. Okay, so it's time for bed now. I'm going to listen to some worship music and just thank God for Wednesdays, for His will for my life, and His amazing love for me. I love God. He loves me. The world goes round. Yay God.