Okay I'm not gonna lie. I'm pretty lonely. I miss my community of christian friends. It's so hard to be a follower of Christ on my own. It's so hard to be a light that shines for Jesus. All alone, I'm just a little light. This little light of mine... is about as bright as a dim cell phone screen in a dark room.
Temptation is everywhere. I'm in the trenches right now just trying not to be blown to bits. Every single day is a fight for my faith. A fight against my idols. A battle against my own selfishness and desire for instant gratification.
Right now, it's a losing battle. I was driving home today, praying and pouring my heart out to God. I prayed to find satisfaction in Him. I selfishly prayed for just a glimpse at His plan for my life so I can have some shard of hope to cling to. I prayed for peace over my life. I prayed for other people too, but mostly me. The point is, I prayed. I haven't done that in a while. Then a song I liked came on the radio and I was gone.
As I was driving... okay speeding... I sped up behind a car that was driving 10 miles under the speed limit. Initially, I got pretty angry. I hate slow drivers. But then something weird happened. A total God thing. A still small voice in my heart told me that this is a reflection of my life right now. I'm speeding through it, just trying to get to my next destination. I need to slow down and take in the journey. I need to appreciate where I am right this second and where I've been and not just focus on my goals and the destination.
I'm so ready to get out of Galesburg and go to college and grow up. I'm so ready to move on and begin my life. I need to appreciate being in Galesburg. I need to be grateful for the journey God is taking me on.
So, instead of furiously changing lanes and passing the old grandpa driving in front of me, I slowed down and enjoyed the ride. I looked at the beautiful trees passing by, and I worshiped God. It was wonderful. One of my better worship experiences.
So now, I must turn in. I have a music theory test in the morning and I need to get up early to study for it.... Yeah my weekend was too packed with work and rehearsal and hanging out with friends til 2am to do something so trivial as homework and studying. I'm an adult. Okay goodnight everyone!
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