Oh, hi there! I'm back!

   Seven days have gone by without a post?! Oh I do apologize! I've been in a funk lately. Too lethargic to blog or do much of anything. This past weekend has just been filled with activities! Let me fill you in, dear reader:
   I left for a weekend winter retreat for junior high students on Friday. This retreat was at Faith Bible Camp and had a few other churches there as well. I ended up being a counselor in a cabin of eight 7th and 8th grade girls with two other high school junior counselors. Are you starting to connect the dots? That means that I was in charge of a whole cabin! When I first found out, I was rather intimidated. In fact, I was downright panicking. I was certain I could not handle it. (I can barely take care of myself, let alone 8 other girls.)
   After my initial panic attack, the room stopped spinning and my head cleared. I realized that God was providing me an opportunity to grow. I have spent so much time fretting, crying, beating myself up, just trying to survive in my own house, and this retreat was the perfect chance to heal by administering to others. It is better to give than to receive, and it is better to serve than be served.
 I led cabin devotions (prepared the about 10 minutes beforehand), woke the girls up at 7am, and even woke myself up at 6am! I bonded with with some 7th grade guys over favorite superheroes, debated with them over the status of heroes like Batman, Ironman, and the Green Lantern in light of the fact that they don't have any superpowers. In my opinion, of course they are superheroes! (Aquaman has superpowers but is far less useful than anyone without powers.) I watched students grow in their faith, and worship God without hesitation. I have to say the most amazing night though, was definitely Saturday night during cabin devotions. I asked the girls some questions about the message which had to do with choosing to follow the world or following God.
   I asked them point blank, "If it's so easy to follow the world, why do we follow God?" I expected a lot of silence and some Sunday school answers but the girl's answers astounded me. Some talked about being angry at God when a friend died, but they realized God may have a bigger plan in store for them and others through their friend's death. Some mentioned being a Christian all their life and never "getting it" until they went to camp during the summer. They finally made their faith their own and not their parents. Some mentioned that they know God loves them so much and forgives them whenever they ask. They never experience that kind of love anywhere else. All of them said that nothing else makes sense. Their lives following God is more fulfilling than doing whatever they want. I hated to cut the discussion short, but being the responsible adult counselor, I knew that 12:30 am is a little late to be awake.
   As I flicked the lights off and uttered some scattered "shh's" while I slid back into my bed, I teared up. My joy was just overflowing. For the first time, I knew that what I had mentioned in small our small group discussions at youth group had not been ignored. I felt useful. These girls were actually listening to me and apparently what I was saying was having an impact on them.
   I give all the glory to God of course, but I mention this because I have been feeling so useless. I have been thinking that my purpose in life is just to entertain people. I hated who I was because I didn't think I was smart or articulate enough to get through to these girls about God's love for them, that all I did well was make people laugh. God revealed to me that even if I really was stupid and inarticulate, He could still use me to impact the world. After all, using the under-qualified is His specialty right?
   Through my transition from introversion to extroversion, I realized that I was so much happier. When I stopped worrying about myself and trying to fix myself, God started to heal me. Now that I have poked my head out of my shell and have gazed upon the miraculous world around me, I can see the big picture clearly. ("I can see clearly now the rain has gone! I can see all obstacles in my way... It's gonna be a bright -Bright!- Bright, sunshine day! ... Musical turrets strikes again!)
   God really impacted everyone during the winter retreat. I am so thankful I got to serve in it. God is so good! He's renewed my sense of purpose, and my relationship with Him. So many students have come home changed by this weekend because of God. It's nice to be a part of something bigger than myself. It's especially nice to be a part of something apart from myself as well... did that make sense? It did in my head... maybe not so much now that I read it... 
   The point of this is, God is working through me and using my flaws to bring glory to Him. Even my sins and horrible flaws have a purpose for God's glory?! Say what?! Yeah, it's true! God works in mysterious ways! So grab the Mystery Machine, Scooby and the rest of those meddling kids and search for the mysterious things God is doing in your life!