Worship leader... me?

   Oh dear today was a busy day! The life of a music major can be quite action packed. Let me give you some insight into my routine for today...
    Piano class at 9am, Ear training at 10am, Music Theory at 11am, Comp 2 at 1pm, Choir from 2:30-3:45, voice lessons from 3:45-5:15. Then I rushed over to church for worship team practice at 6:30 to about 8:40. (I am leading worship for the 11am contemporary service this Sunday morning. [*Girly squeal!]) (Yeah I used brackets inside parenthesis, and yes it was thoroughly awkward but I'm leaving them. So there!) Needless to say, after about 2 hours of homework and some bible reading, I am exhausted! Today has been so awesome though!
   I led the practice for worship band tonight which was horrifying until we got started. I was afraid that my short attention span lack of organization skills, would make me a bad leader. A good friend helped me through and God blessed me with some focus! I'm super uber excited about the service this Sunday!
   God has been so good to me this past week. I have been anything but obedient or willing to please Him. I've just been a bit depressed and unmotivated to do anything, and complacent with where I was. I broke down emotionally in the car on my way to walgreens, and just prayed straight from the heart and cried.
   I don't want to lead this Sunday's service with a selfish attitude or any motives to give myself any glory or praise. I have issues with wanting to please others. I crave the applause of anyone and everyone. I've just been intensely praying that I would do all this for the glory of God. His applause is the only applause that ever matters.
   I want to bring glory to God because He deserves it sooo much more than I! Without God, I would just be a "funny girl." I would be so shallow. God gives me depth of character. Everything that is good about me, is because of God. All my goodness comes from God!
      I also have issues with insecurity. I'm extremely nervous about the service. (That soooo rhymed and made me unnecessarily excited!) I want to do well, but I'm afraid that who I am is not good enough to lead a whole congregation of church goers in worship. I'm scared! I'll admit it! When I look in the mirror, I see a 21 year old punk who is not very smart, pretty naive, and unable to handle such a huge responsibility. I'm praying for the wisdom to see myself as not just an incapable sinner, but a sinner saved by grace who can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
   I asked forgiveness of my sins that I had forgotten to repent, or had been to arrogant to acknowledge as sins. I prayed for healing from all the situations that I have let damage my heart. For some help guarding my heart from any more attacks waged by anyone else, and especially myself. God never fails. I'm so thankful for His forgiveness! I continue to hold tight to His promises and live His will for my life. I pray you do too dear reader.

Romans 11:33-36
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them? For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.