I'm so blessed. So let's move on to today! Today I worked 8-2 at Goodwill, a job God completely provided for me. I then came home for a bit, then went to church to help my youth pastor with some odd jobs and just hang with him. Then I prepared a lesson for the jr. high bible study, which he asked me today to prepare for. I got to chill with some friends at church and watch the vbs program in full swing... which was amazing! Then I went to the bible study and led a discussion in 1 John 1:1-4.
Only boys showed up, and I think they were all going into 6th grade... that was definitely a new experience for me! I'm pretty comfortable leading jr. high girls in a bible study, but ALL boys?! It was so much fun though. There were a lot of rabbit trails, and, having ADHD, I know how to deal with (more like encourage) rabbit trails. The discussion went well, and my youth pastor was there to help me along when I stumbled.
I was blessed with a random chance to serve others, which is a breath of fresh air amidst the work work work I've been doing. My favorite part of the discussion was when we got to verse 4.
1 John 1:4
We write this to make out joy complete.
A short, seemingly ordinary verse... but with so much behind it. In verses 1-3, John is talking about how he got to experience life with Jesus. Verse 1 says "That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched- this we proclaim concerning the Word of life." Obviously when John refers to the Word of life, he is referring to Jesus.
Verse 2: "The life appeared, we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us." I love that he refers to Jesus as "The life." It's a snapshot right into the heart of John. John knows and believes Jesus is life. It is so clear that John makes Jesus his life. I love the passion behind John's preaching. John makes no bones about who he serves. He is concerned about sharing with others the life of Jesus.
Verse 3: "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ." John has such an amazing relationship with Christ, that it is his why he wants to share his experiences with us. Fellowship is all about gathering with friends for the purpose of getting to know each other better, and getting to know God better. We are created for fellowship. We are created to have community with others. We are also created to worship God. Then finally we come to verse 4: "We write this to make our joy complete."
We discussed what brings us joy. For me, the thing that I love to do, the thing that makes me light up and brings me joy is performing. Singing, acting, but mostly making people laugh. I love this because I'm good at it, it is what God created me to do. Then the question was asked, "What would your life be like if your relationship with Jesus brought you the same joy that performing did? (Or whatever brings you joy now?)
I want a relationship like that. I want a relationship like John had. I want the passion for Jesus, and passion for sharing the gospel that John had. As I journey alone through this dark time, I pray for a more passionate relationship with Christ, rivaling that of John's.
Oh and here is a little bit of what I read today in my time alone with God...
Psalm 13
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
It's probably my favorite chapter in Psalm. My favorite verse is verse 2. And I love this because it's exactly where I'm at in my life right now. Every single day I "wrestle with my thoughts." As the chapter progresses, the focus changes from sorrow, torment, and sadness, to verse 5 and 6... "But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for he has been good to me." Even in Asaph's (the guy who wrote the book) torment, he praises God, and remembers God's blessings.
No matter how crappy life gets, I will always rejoice in God's salvation. I am free. Even in my darkest times, I am free from the power of sin and death. I am saved. The Lord has been good to me. So no matter how much I wrestle with my thoughts, I pray that I will have a heart of Asaph. I pray for a Psalm 13 heart. God is good. All the time. Even though I don't love, or even like myself. God will always love me more than I can ever fathom. Hallelujah and praise God for such an awesome day.
Wow, what a long blog post! Are you still there?! If so, thanks! And congrats for staying tuned so long. As a token of my appreciation, I leave you with this video... this is what I would love to make a career out of, if I knew I couldn't fail... this woman is hilarious and spot on... just watch...
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