Aftermath

   I'm blogging today with a super huge (redundant) headache. I took a shoulder to the nose today during my favorite youth group game. I do not regret it for a second though. Go big or go home!!!! I had to leave youth group early today to get to rehearsal at 7:30. I still loved being there and leading the students in worship, and "rubbing shoulders" with some amazing junior high students.
   So I bet you are all wondering how I'm doing since my last post. Well... I'm better. An amazing friend let me cry on her shoulder, and a couple awesome friends messaged me encouragement which definitely helped.
   I only had to attend one class today, which was fantastic. So after music theory, I drove to church. I got to talk to Weston, memorize some lines, and what really picked me up today was reading my bible. I realized how long it had been since I read God's word. I immediately opened my duct taped, worn bible and read from Jeremiah, and Romans. I ate it up. I didn't realize how much I missed looking directly into the heart of God through His word. Man, I love God so much. I'm so thankful for the bible. God is so good.
   My favorite passage is actually what I shared with my band before we practiced today.
   Romans 13:8-10
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Don no commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
   Obedience blooms from love. It's hard to obey someone or serve or help out someone whom you don't love. I learned that the reason people see such a huge change in how I act now as opposed to a year or two ago, is because I love God. It's so simple, but it affects my entire life. Everything good I do is motivated out of love of God. Doing good is not something I consciously make an effort at, I love Christ now, and I obey and serve Him. That's all. It's all by God's grace, not from any of my own effort.
   It's so hard for me to be respectful to my mom. Especially when I've had such a crazy day, and all I want to do is sit in my room and brood. It's easy to be short with her and disrespectful. No matter how hard I try to control myself, it just doesn't happen sometimes. But according to Romans, it's not about trying harder. It's about love. I need to love my mother like I love myself. (And I do believe that Paul meant that ironically.)    
   We need to love others as much we love ourselves. We all have some sort of narcissism in us. Especially me!!! We need to be loving others instead of being wrapped up in ourselves.
   So yeah... that's my huge epiphany for the day. Now it's time to take like 400 tylenol, and get cracking on a speech that is due tomorrow. Yeah, I procrastinated. No, I do not regret it. It was totally worth it. I do my best work at the last minute. Not gonna lie. I'll even post my grade when I get it back to prove to you! Challenge accepted!

 ....Wow that was a dumb idea. I bet God is going to smite my grade for my arrogance. But I'll stick to my promise either way!