So... I'm just gonna be straight up honest with y'all. It's been a crazy weekend. Someone offered me a rum and coke and I accepted mostly to be polite and I haaaated it. I only had one, but I'm a lightweight, so I got pretty tipsy. I wasn't too fond of alcohol in the first place, but now I'm positive I'll be avoiding it for quite some time.
I figured I should just up and confess since I'm not perfect and I'm not going to pretend to be. Especially in my own blog. So drinking is a no go for me. I learned my lesson. Don't drink people. Make good life choices. Blah blah blah. Hugs not drugs. Give a hoot, don't pollute. Drugs are bad and all that jazz mkay?
I've been super stressed lately because certain a certain mentor in my life has been extremely negative toward me, and basically told me what I want to do with my life (work in youth and worship ministry) is for people with no talent. They said I should be a singer, since that's where my talent is. I was pretty devastated. This mentor went on for an hour about this and about how I should drop a class since I'm so stressed, and I probably won't do well in it anyway. I left completely drained. I drove home and had a full on panic attack.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm completely and totally insecure, so when things like this happen, my whole world comes crashing down on me. I prayed and cried and cried and prayed for wisdom, and strength and cried more and prayed for deliverance and confidence in Christ. Then I cried myself to sleep. It was bad.
I slept for about a half an hour and then went to practice. My friends could tell I was in bad shape, so they comforted me and made me feel better. I've kind of cut off this person from my life now, but they keep popping up to talk to me about it which is super stressful.
Tonight, I'm just praying for a good night's rest. I need a full 8 hours tonight. I've not been sleeping well lately due to anxiety. I've been waking up frequently and I'm just so tired throughout the day. I just feel drained 24/7. Emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. Today I was driving home, crying and a still small voice rang in my ears saying "This too shall pass." Despite all this awful crap going on in my life, God is good. He's holding on to me, though I'm ready to let go. I love Him and praise Him in this storm. God is good; all the time.
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